After Sunnydale
by auzziewitch
Summary: Four months on, life has changed and secrets are revealed. First-time Buffy writer, please be nice.


_Hello, I have decided to enter into the hell territory known as Buffy-land and am silently kicking myself for it, so please, be gentle._

_This story has been brewing in my mind for a while, and given that today was my first day of my final year of university (yay) I decided to start writing a new story. Beware, I am mainly posting this to see if anyone is interested in what the hell I have to say (and given this type of thing has been done numerous times before I'm really not sure why I'm bothering) so be prepared for it to be heavily edited at some time in the future._

_Also, I am a very lazy updater, especially given I have a couple of other stories in the works and I have just restarted University, so if you do like this and are seeking updates, please be patient._

_Finally, and most importantly, I hope you have ignored everything that I have just said as I am rather certain it came out very randomly, and rambly-ee, and that you enjoy this story._

_-xXx-_

**Title: After Sunnydale**

**Rating: M (for language and smuttiness that isn't too far away)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS, nor do I have any aspiration to do so. Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Bros. or Fox I can't remember….please don't sue**

**Summary: Four months after the fall of Sunnydale Buffy and company are faced with new challenges that none of them expected or anticipated. To make matters more complicated, discovering some of Angel's secrets only makes for a heartache Buffy never wanted.**

**Prologue**

Sometimes there were nights when all she wanted was for a hell-god to jump out of the shadows and beat her senseless. At least then the pain she was feeling would be physical. But then she would still have the problem of everyone babying her, except it would be so much worse because there would be bruises and possible broken bones that would need to be cared for.

Sometimes she was even tempted to let the few vampires that jumped out at her from the shadows beat her, just so that she could be happy. And that happiness wasn't even a desire to get back to the place she had been torn out of two and a half years ago. That happiness would come from being with him.

It had been four months since she had heard his piercing laugh and the unmistakeable sound of a vampire turning to dust. Four months since she had been forced to say goodbye to her home, to the places she was familiar with. Four months since she had found Europe. But in those four months, nothing had been able to put a genuine smile on her face.

Somehow she had managed to convince everyone who surrounded her that she was happy; she had managed to show every new person who came into her life, be it fleeting or for good, that she was a normal 22 year old woman. However, every night, when she would shut her bedroom door, she would sit down on her bed, stare into space and allow her heart to once again break.

She had been certain, for years, that she would never, _could_ never love anyone like she had loved Angel. It just seemed impossible for that level of love to fill her heart again, especially when a part of her refused to let go of it. But then she saw Spike. Fair enough she had despised him with the fire of one thousand suns for most of their time knowing each other – his desire to kill her was part of it – but when she found herself getting to know him, during their "relationship" and then when he had a soul, she found there was such a vast amount of him that was the exact opposite of what she had ever expected.

He was genuine, he was true, he was honest, and above all, he was _real_. Sometimes she felt a strong urge to bash her head against a wall for all the times that she had called him a thing, for all the times she had ignored him.

He was the first person who knew her in a way she never expected herself to ever be known. Angel had come to know the girl, the woman, the person, but he left to allow her to be normal. She had tried normal, Parker, well let's not go there. Riley, if you could call that normal, because yes every normal American boy was really an undercover government demon hunter. And hey, look at what happened there. Plus, him coming to know her had been on her terms. She had only ever offered up pieces of information about her when it suited her. Angel just got everything naturally.

But Spike, he met her and immediately he knew her. He knew the slayer first, then just added everything that was Buffy on top of that. He never forgot that she was the Slayer whereas both Angel and Riley regularly did, to the point where it surprised them sometimes when something happened to her that was slayer-ish. Like when that Vampire stabbed her in the stomach with her own stake, Riley never got over the fact that it only took a few hours for her to be back on her feet, and a few days before she was capable of fighting demons at full strength again.

But Spike _knew_ her. He told her about her desire for death, and it was only because of the level of her hatred for him that she ignored him. But as she walked home, she was still deeply unnerved that he knew something about her that she was petrified of. He was the one who never abandoned her when Faith returned and upturned everything that she was fighting for. He was the one who followed her, who found her, who inspired her to continue fighting.

But now he was gone. Her source of inspiration and strength died in the final battle, leaving her as hollow, if not more so, than when Angel left. Maybe the difference was that she knew he was dead, whereas Angel didn't die. Except, shouldn't that have meant that Angel leaving should have been more painful, because he left of his own accord? Trying to think that one through always gave her a headache.

She had refused to let Spike leave. She had refused to give up finding him. Everyone thought she loved him; everyone was right. It just took her too long to acknowledge it, accept it, say it; and then when she finally did he spat her in the face with it.

Didn't he know her better than anyone probably ever would? Didn't he spend so long convincing her that she did love him? Didn't he attempt to assault her because he believed it? And then she said it and it was just a case of "no you don't, but thanks for saying it." Who did he think he was?

Saying 'I love you' is a big deal, most people say it is. She had only ever told one person that she loved them; she had only ever loved one person. For her to say it was a pretty big deal, despite her world renowned timing.

So then she spent time saying that it was because he was about to die. He only said those hateful words because he knew he was about to die, and he couldn't accept her love when he was about to go poof.

Still, it left her in a hole. It didn't help that her memories of him were also plagued with those few nights they spent together, how they had made love – not fucked like bunnies which had been their custom – but decided that it was too soon and then hadn't done anything that final night but hold each other.

Now, four months later, Elizabeth Anne Summers found herself in a predicament that she never thought would be hers. She was pregnant with a vampire's child.

_-xXx-_

_So, that's the prologue. Please keep threatening emails light and fluffy with a hint of sweetness._

_Remember to Review!_


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